


Being Incomprehensible Fear Gods Is Out, Mortal Bodies Are In

by Logic_With_A_Pinch_Of_Deceit



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:40:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26141998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Logic_With_A_Pinch_Of_Deceit/pseuds/Logic_With_A_Pinch_Of_Deceit
Summary: A series of events in which Smirked 14 decide they would like to try at this whole human thing.
Comments: 19
Kudos: 56





	1. Following a new trend

The thing which was not tangible before today opened it’s eyes, it took in it’s surroundings, drinking in any information it was able to find. After looking around it’s new environment it pulled it’s eyes to it’s own appearance. 

Observation, it had a human body. Distinctly feminine in sex. Long hair pulled into a knot at the nape of it’s neck, two strands of hair fell down to the sides of it’s face. The hair was colored strangely, a dark brown with an olive green at the ends. It enjoyed the color of the ends, so it would do nothing to change it.

It stood on shaky legs and took a single step, the muscle memory of this body kicking in. It made a small noise of delight, it would not have to train the body. 

Observation, it could make noise and this body had muscle memory. All good things so far.

It leaned against the wall of the alley it was in and started to think. It would have to go to a hub of fear to regain some of it’s non mortal abilities, so the Magnus Institute would be a good place to start. One of it’s disciples was running the place, Jonah Magnus. Though, it did remember that he had chosen Elias Bouchard for this lifetime. Still, a good place to begin.

So, the body began to walk.

It walked for maybe an hour or so before it came across the large building that bore the name The Magnus Institute. Perfect.

It opened the door, finding the most professional and smartest looking person in the room. It was a woman with the name tage of Rosie, she would do. 

“Hello Ma’am, I would like to speak to Elias Bouchard.” It’s voice was curt, but not unkind. 

The woman looked up at it with a smile. “I’m sorry to say that the Head of the institute is not in today, if you would like to make a statement I could show you to the Archives?” 

Oh yes, Jonathan Sims, Archive. He would do. 

“That would be wonderful, thank you.” It replied, testing out a smile not unlike the one Rosie had given it. 

This Rosie stood up and gave another smile, she seemed to be fond of smiling. She lead it down the stairs and into an absolute mess. It could not disguise the curl of it’s lip at the sight. 

“It’s a mess, isn’t it?” Rose asked as they walked further into what could only be described as a labyrinth. 

“It… It certainly isn’t clean.” It decided on, clasping it’s hands together. “Is this the Archivist’s office?” 

“Yes it is! I’ll introduce you to the assistants and they can bring you to Jon.” Rose waved over a freckled man. 

“This is Martin, he’s one of the archival assistants. Hello Martin, I must be going, but they’re here to give a statement.” Rose gave Martin another smile, this one full of familiarity, before racing back up the stairs. 

Martin gave a hesitant smile, but gave off a comforting aura. “Er, hello, I’m Martin- I mean, Rosie already introduced me, but yeah. I- I use he/him pronouns.”

It observed Martin and nodded. “I am looking for the Archivist. I do not have a name yet and I suppose I use they/them pronouns, but any will do for me.” It introduced itself, Martin had an understanding look in his eyes when it mentioned the name issue. It did not understand why, but it was not necessary to know.

“Well, Jon just finished recording a written statement so he should be open to take a statement.”

It frowned, it had never said it wished to give a statement, the two people who had talked to it had assumed so. 

“That will do. I would like to meet the Archivist.”

Martin gave one more nod and popped his head into the closed off room. “Hey Jon, there’s a statement giver here.” 

It heard a grumble from the now open door, but walked in regardless. “Hello Archivist.” It sat down, hearing the sound of the door closing behind it. 

The man sighed. 

Observation, the man looked tired. Also quite scarred, there were quite a lot of scars on his visible body. 

“Hello, you’re here to give a statement?”

“No. Elias was not here so going to you was the second option, so I am here. I am the consciousness of the Beholding."


	2. The lecture from a crazy person

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Side note, everything I write is p ooc

Jon looked at the person with an incredulous look. What the hell was this person talking about? The strange person clasped their hands and smiled back at him. The smile looked like Rosie’s, he noted. 

“I’m sorry, but if you aren’t here to make a statement I ask that you leave-”

“No thank you. I’m quite alright.”

“You don’t understand, this is a place of work. You can’t loiter here.” 

“I am not loitering, I am who this institution is for, Jonathan Sims.” 

This person was crazy, that would have to be it. He stood up, moving to open the door to shoo the person out. 

The person got an understanding look on their face, quickly mixing with pity. “Oh, you don’t know. That’s so sad, I can’t imagine not Knowing.” They hummed. 

“What are you talking about?”

The person didn’t answer, instead countering his question with another. “Are you aware of Smirke’s fourteen?” They tilted their head, now leaning onto his desk. 

“Robert Smirke?”

“The one and only, are you aware of his works?”

“Well, yes, the institute is partially designed by him-”

“Wonderful, do you know of his works regarding the categories of fears?” They paused for a moment before looking as if they remembered something that made them very happy. “Oh! Ask your assistant Tim, I believe he knows quite a lot about his works.”  
Jon looked at them strangely, but opened the door and called for Tim, who popped his head in not unlike Martin did in the previous chapter. “What’s up, boss?” 

The person smiled Rosie’s smile again and waved at the new person in the office. 

Jon sighed and rubbed his eyes. “This person came in saying they were going to make a statement, then refused to make a statement and instead called themself the Beholding’s consciousness and began talking about Robert Smirke.”

“The architect?”

“Yes! Are you aware of the Smirke 14?” The person chimed in.

“No?”

The person gave a dramatic sigh and crossed their legs. “You know, the entities, The Buried, The Dark, etcetera?” 

The person was met with confused looks from both of the men. 

“Sigh, I suppose I should’ve waited for a bit before becoming mortal. Should’ve planned this vacation a bit better.” The person stood up from their spot perched on the desk and began to pace. “Robert Smirke categorized the basic fears into fourteen categories. The categories go as follows: The Buried,The Corruption, The Dark,The Desolation, The Flesh, The Hunt, The Lonely, The Slaughter, The Web, The Spiral, The Stranger, The End, The Vast,The Eye. Their names really are quite self explanatory for most, they present as paranormal occurrences and people marked deeply by them, creating avatars. I am the mind of The Eye. any questions?”

“... What the hell?” Tim turned to Jon and raised his eyebrows. “You believe them, boss?”

Jon felt confused, on one hand, he knew the paranormal existed, so having fear entities wouldn’t be that much of a stretch. He just had one question for the weird person. “Does the… Web use spiders?”

The person nodded enthusiastically. “Oh yes! You’ve already been marked by the Mother Of Puppets. And you, Tim, have been marked by the Stranger, deepest condolences for your brother.”

Tim reacted to that statement, hands turning to fists at his sides. “How do you know that?”

“I know a lot of things! It’s my job as the Eye, you know, knowing things.”

Jon was speechless before turning to Tim. “We should… get Sasha and Martin, tell them.” He glanced back at the person. “You, stay here.”

“Okay!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if I'll end up having this on a shedule but like, here's the second chapter.


	3. Peter don't be an idiot challenge

Quite a distance away from the institute, a figure stepped out of an alley filled with fog. It had on a baggy sweatshirt with the hood pulled up, covering it’s starch white hair. It’s eyes darted around the area before pulling it’s hood tighter and beginning to walk.

It had quite the headache, which was a new thing for it, as it did not usually have a head. It closed its eyes for a moment, having to stop and lean against a building. It let out a sigh and straightened back up, it was due time for it to meet a certain person. It would usually go to Peter, but this Martin fellow seemed interesting enough and a good candidate to become an avatar. That is, if the Web didn’t get to him first. 

“Stupid spiders.” It muttered, kicking the pavement before promptly stumbling and falling to the floor. It stuck up its middle finger to the sky, scowling. 

It stood up and brushed off it’s jeans, resuming it’s walk towards the Magnus Institute.

Oh. Peter was there. Did it want to muster up the energy to have a conversation with that depressing asshole or did it want to go vibe with Martin… Well, it supposed Lukas would be best. He has money which means it could go buy snacks. It wanted candy. 

It slipped back into the Lonely and found its way to Peter, who was walking through, like an idiot. 

“Peter.” 

He didn’t look at it, horribly rude, so it spoke again. “Peter Lukas, this is your god speaking. Look at me before I revoke your Lonely privileges.” 

Finally, he looked at it, an expression of surprise washed over his face. “Who are you?”

“I’m exactly who I said I was, your god, the Lonely in mortal form. Why are all my avatars complete idiots?”

“But… You look… What? Sixteen.”

“This body is actually nineteen, it’s just small. Small and angry looking makes people leave you alone, not your weird sailor get-up.” 

“So why exactly are you here?”

“We got bored and made a bet.”

“We?”

“The other fears, duh. Anyhow, take me to the Institute. I wanna talk to Martin.”

“Who?”

“One of Elias’ archive assistants. Also, we need to stop for snacks on the way, I want candy.” It pursed it’s lips, staring down Peter who gave it an almost kicked puppy look. “Oh don’t look at me like that, quality time with your god.”


	4. A lovely couple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I get to ship whichever entities I want.

Out in a cemetery, two pairs of hands reach out of separate graves, making way for two dirt covered people.

The first to speak was a gangly man in a now dirtied dress. It would’ve been a very pretty dress, don’t get me wrong, but now it was dirt coated and kinda gross. “I thought you said that it would be easy, why did we have to go through six feet of solid dirt?”

The second to speak was a chubby person in jeans and a band tee. The body had a few visible tattoos, mostly on it’s arms. “In my defense, I really like dirt.”

“When you die in this body I will get Desolation to burn you and never put you back in the ground.”

“You would never! Plus, Dessy loves me!”

“I love you too, but Desolation owes me multiple favors and I will cash in on them.”

The chubby one, who, you guessed it, was the Buried stuck out their tongue at the one in the dress. “I’m not letting you have any say in where I’m put when the body dies.”

“You wouldn’t, I’m the only one who knows how to do it properly. It’s my whole thing!”

The Buried gave a diabolical little laugh before helping the other all the way out of the grave. “Where are we going first? I’m sure Lonely and Eye have already found some of their favorites, none of my ones are very good, so let’s go to yours!”

The End (it wasn’t that hard to guess, let’s be honest) clicked his tongue as he thought. “Well, Oliver Banks is a good one and Georgie is trying her best while not knowing a lot. She’s very sweet though.” 

“Let’s go to Oliver! He’s the one with the dreams, right?”

The End looked around with his eyes narrowed. “I believe we’re in America.” He said slowly, turning back to Buried and raising an eyebrow. 

They looked sheepish. “Oops? Are there any of your avatars here?”

The End tsked and thought for a moment. “Yes, actually. Gerard Keay, I believe he’s trapped in a book near here.”

“OOH! Let’s go rescue him!!”

The End pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Alright, we can go rescue him, but we might have to talk to Hunt, some of xir hunters are keeping Gerard captive.”

The Buried clapped their hands, having to momentarily let go of End’s hand. They did quickly grab it again when they were done. “Okay!! Let’s go! Come on!!”


End file.
